Let’s Re-Book Wrestlemania 33
The biggest show of the year could use some changes
Despite WWE having one their most stacked rosters ever, fans like myself have been vocal in saying that this year’s Wrestlemania does not have the same level of excitement surrounding. This is the biggest show of the year but it doesn’t feel like it. Whether it be the matches or the build up to them, this year’s show feels like a longer version of the events that we get every month, not the once a year spectacle we expect. To change that, Vince McMahon called me up and asked me to rebook the card on the fly. Ok, that’s a lie but if I could rebook the card here’s what it would look like.
The rules are simple, using only the active roster (and Shane McMahon) I rearranged Wrestlemania the best I could. I left four matches the same; Triple H vs. Seth Rollins, Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar, Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin and Neville vs. Austin Aries- as I felt that the superstars in those matches are in their best possible spots.
New Day vs. Enzo & Cass vs. The Club vs. Sheamus and Cesaro
The longest reigning tag team champions in WWE history don’t even have a match at this year’s show? Blasphemy. Insert them right into the already established match and have them give another team the rub. Even in losing at least they are still in a prominent spot on the card and in the division.
Chris Jericho vs. Braun Strowman
Shuffling of the card left Raw’s two hottest acts without a match at the big show so why not stick ‘em together? I can picture Braun Strowman destroying The List of Jericho, sending YSJ on a mission for revenge. As for the match, a veteran like Jericho could guide Strowman a passable match and a solid win to build off of going forward.
Roman Reigns vs. Sami Zayn
You’re probably shaking your head at this one but hear me out! This is the story of the Big Dog vs The Underdog. On a larger level, this match would represent the WWE putting their chosen one against one of the internet’s favorites. Reigns works well when he has talented partners and there are few more talented than Sami Zayn. The added benefit of putting Reigns against such a strong baby face in Zayn is that it allows him to play the de facto heel role. This feud could work as a litmus test for a full-length heel run with Sami Zayn serving as the catalyst.
John Cena vs. Samoa Joe
One of my favorite John Cena matches is his match against Brock Lesnar at Extreme Rules 2012. In that match, Cena got his ass kicked to the point where it seemed legitimate. I think that a Wrestlemania date with Samoa Joe could recapture that same energy. Apparently, this was one of the directions that WWE considered going in for this year’s Wrestlemania before eventually settling on the mixed tag. They even produced a video for it.
The story of a bitter wrestler holding onto resentment for years while his peer goes onto unparalleled success would play out well with these two. The fact that it plays on real life events would only strengthen the build to this feud.
Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi
I’m a huge fan of the entire Smackdown women’s roster, but WWE was definitely building towards a huge moment for Naomi in her hometown of Orlando. For someone that’s been a solid performer for the company for the last half a decade, Naomi retaining the Women’s title against Alex Bliss (whose been a great heel in her own right) would be a great move.
Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens
The Festival of Friendship was one of the best segments WWE produced in a very long time, that being said it would have been cool if they held off on the best friends break up. Enter Finn Balor who has been cleared to compete for the last few weeks. The former Universal Champion battling the inaugural Universal Champion would be easy to build as these two both have a claim for the Universal title and a recent history given their feud in NXT.
Kurt Angle vs. Rusev
Picture this, the Hall of Fame class is on the stage when suddenly Rusev (or another lowercard heel) interrupts and berates everyone. Kurt Angle rips off his suit superhero style to reveal a singlet underneath. He hits the ring, gets hit by an Angle Slam and then put into the ankle lock. If WWE has no intentions of clearing Angle to wrestle they can give himt a moment like they gave The Rock at last year’s Wrestlemania.
Charlotte vs. Bayley
Ideally one of two things would happen here. Either Bayley would get her first Women’s championship here or Sasha Banks would screw her out of her chance, turning her heel and setting up a feud between the two. If WWE held off on Bayley’s big moment for Wrestlemania or a leter event, that win would feel a lot better than it does in hindsight.
The Miz vs. Shane McMahon
— Elliott Cantor (@ElliottCantor) April 19, 2016
This match would be disgusting without a stipulation. That being said The Miz’ issues with Daniel Bryan have been well documented over the years. With Bryan unable to step into the ring to defend himself against the former Intercontinental Champion, who better to face him than GM Shane McMahon himself? It would take a lot of gimmicks to make this match watchable but the end result is simple; The Miz gets fired for constantly challenging his bosses superiority.
Noelle Foley & Stephanie McMahon
That video should be enough to sell you on this one. I don’t need or want a full blown match from these two but there has to be some moment where Noelle avenges her father’s constant embarrassment at the hands of Stephanie McMahon. I’d be fine with Noelle doing something as silly as performing a mandible claw on Steph, as long as it’s a one-off and the heel finally gets what’s been coming to her.
The Wyatt Family Triple Threat
Neither Randy Orton or Bray Wyatt feel like faces in this feud. Wyatt is still an evil cult leader while Orton tricked the cult leader into trusting him, burned down his house, and cremated his sister. Add in Luke Harper and this match gets its much-needed face. Harper’s inclusion also saves him from having to participate in the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal.
AJ Styles vs. The Undertaker
If this is the Deadman’s last Mania then I want to see him go out against the best wrestler in the company. The biggest problem that I was with his current match is that it doesn’t make sense. We saw The Undertaker return to Smackdown before Survivor Series to strike fear into the Smackdown roster, only to appear exclusively on Monday Night Raw. By matching Taker against a blue brand superstar we can maintain some storyline continuity. While Cena/Taker is the bigger match, Styles/Taker could be a very special match. Sure Takers lost a step, but Styles is performing at a level high enough to carry Taker to a swan song.